I feel like I've been ignoring my internet obligations as of late. I just havn't really had time to update. Between work, driving to and from work, and working on my social life I've been booked solid. Serisouly I had to make time tonight to paint my toenails. How retarded is that?

I'm in a happy place. It's weird. I still owe 1500+ dollars for last semester, I havn't been given a new time to register, I may not even be able to register until I pay that off... which isn't going to happen... but I'm not stressing. Student Loan people keep telling me that they havn't dropped the paper applications yet and I 'should do it online'. I'm broke. I havn't filled my income tax. I am not making enough money at my job to have anything saved for school.

All this and I don't care. Well I do care, of course, but it's not upsetting me.

Fuck. I made a thinking page today. I havn't done that in awhile. The only way I can weigh the pros and cons of anything is to doodle it out and make lists and random points.

I can't wait to see my roommates again. I miss Caleigh, Jenny, and Rachel so much. I almost bought a painting of a Bull Fighter on Velvet(the tacky fabric not the tacky girl). Every time I watch the Simpsons, Arrested Development, or anything CBC for that matter, especially anything with Peter Mansbridge, I miss them.

Is anyone else super excited for the X-Files movie?

So, a few updates;

Batman = awesome

I am so tired.

Boys are proving to be slightly less DUMB than I remember.

I'm broke.

I want a pretty dress.

I am contemplating a tattoo.

I want a toy unicorn.

Lobsters live really long. Weird.
Why does a Gotham City Pizza from Dominos have more pepperoni? Better question; why does more pepperoni make it a Gotham City Pizza?

Oh yeah, and I'm still totally fucking random.

Anyone have any good songs? I need new music.

Life is full of 'splosions(!) lately. Mostly good ones. Atleast they seem good.

Oh life.

Oh boy.

Oh dear...

Now to see where all these explosion will take me; maybe it'll be like a Die Hard Movie.

What is it I'm doing. I wish I knew.

I'm all over the place waiting for things to fall into place. Why won't it all just line up in front of me. Let me look and appraise my options. I'm doing that now; writing lists of pros and cons on each one of my options.



People irritate me so very much. Don't try to impress me; you shouldn't have to try. You should just be. Just being you should make me want to be with you. But you're trying. Trying so hard. I'm not seeing you and you're not seeing me because you're too busy looking at your own reflection. I see you looking in my eyes, but you're not looking at me; you're watching yourself reflected in my eyes. You're trying to see how I see you, all the while not looking at me.

Strange. It feels so strange to be with someone and alone. I just want to be with someone. Not the character they play, not that filtered and idealized version of themselves they work so hard to create; to portray; to play. I don't want to see that play you act out everyday. You act so well I feel I should be paying you. I'm sick of toys. I'm sick of games. I'm sick of watching an act.

Just lay back and let me set my head on your chest and listen. Let me close my eyes and listen to the drums you play. That song that keeps you living. That beat that resonates from your center.

I'm sick of costumes; masks; facades; and acts. I'm an art student. Not a theater student. Sure I can appreciate your talent, but I'd rather you paint me a picture. Draw me something from the heart. Take a page and put yourself on it. Put your true self on paper in indelible ink; invisible ink.

I want to lay down in the dark. That's when I can see you best: When I can't see you at all.

That's the time you can see me best; when you're not distracted by your own reflection in my eyes.

I'm talking to single men about their feelings.

Not really. I'm actually watching The Rick Mercer Report. Gawd I love him.

I'm heading back home today. No fun. I don't wanna go! Don't make me! I don't wanna! I've been having so much fun, and the fact I can indulge in a Iced Chai Latte from Second Cup whenever I damn well please! I can't go back to Tim Horton's! I won't!

I love American Apparel btw. I could live there. I want to live there. I want to work there. I'm not skinny enough though. But sweet fuck I want to work there!

Went to the bars last night, it was alright. Next visit I'm hitting the local music scene way harder.

I need money. Let's all go to Alberta and make some money for me.

And now to go sit on the balcony!

So I'm in halifax until thursday! Visiting Danielle and Jenene. Good times have been had thus far! I got paid today so some shopping is in order! I'm also cooking supper/dessert tonight; Vegetarian Lasagn, and for dessert, a ginger lime tarte! Sweet mother I love cooking for people.

Now I need a shower since I smell. Time to go shopping! Tomorrow night is the night I plan to dance my face off!

Jordon doesn't seem to be coming up to Halifax, which is good an dbad I s'pose. I'd feel so guilty if he came up and ended up missing out on seeing his friends(who're home visiting for a few days) but it also means I have to shuttle/bus it home. Evil. So evil. No one is heading to Cape Breton from Halifax at any point Thursday are they? Because that would be great.

Alright guys, since I'm in halifax I want your suggestions:

things to do

places to go

places to eat

places to shop

things to see

Halp?!

...not really.

I am feeling rather our of myself lately. I'm trying to figure out why. I think it's because I've been spending most of my time alone or at work. I miss my friends, especially my roommates. I think the fact I have boring boring hair is making me feel less like me aswell. I need to fix that. I wear a wig at work, so fun hair can be done once I've got the chedda to pay for it.

Work has been pretty decent. I work with a cool team... and one kinda crazy person, but he's nice so I'll deal. Being in costume all day is eating at me too. Not that I don't love it; I do! But it's weird. I think being in clothes that aren't mine and hair that isn't my style is minimizing my confidence. It's weird I know, but I am more confident when I'm wearing things that I like or things that I think express who I am. I have an easier time expressing myself when my hair and clothes starts the conversation for me. That can't be good.

I'm pretty confident in my costume though, no one can judge me on it, and when people see you out of costume they often won't recognize you.

Working 5 days in the cold damp of a 1744 bakery has made me sick. Not fun. I'm all cough-a-liscious and runny-nose-i-fied.

In other news:
I'm doing some pretty WTF stuff. Atleast for me. I dunno why. Whatever. I'll figure that one out later.

I miss Jenene and Danielle! I'll going to be going to Halifax to visit them sometime in the near future, so anyone else in halifax that wants hang outs will have to let me know! Still no set date on when I'll be road tripping it up there, but I'll be sure to post about it.

Wel, I've got laundry to do and a bedroom to clean and possible adventures to organize... I'm out!

One last thing: A Post Secret postcard that made me laugh/pissed off since I'm sure I know alot of people with these cameras who it could easily apply to...


Later Days.

Congratulations on making that great big mistake. You suck. Ah crap.

So, I'm at work again.

I was just sitting here... doing basically nothing when the phone in the next room rings. Deb(co-worker) answers it as usual, and while she's talking I overhear that someone has quit at the Bakery!

The Bakery is my FAVORITE place in the fortress! So I thought about it for afew minutes, weighed the concequences and then just went for it; I asked about the job and who they would get to fill it. Deb picked up on my drift right away and asked if I would like her to call for me and get some info. I was PUMPED! She did and forwarded me to the boss man(same guy who interviewed me a few weeks ago). He said he'd be glad to have me! Yay! So nwo I've just go to wait for him to talk to my boss here. I'll probably be here till the end of the week, but since I'll be moving on to my dream job I've got no problem with that!

I already told Deb I'd be glad to stay until they found someone. She said she knew desk work wasn't my thing, she said 'You've got too much energy for it!'
I like her.

Now that I'll be working on site a car pool shouldny be too tough to work out!

YAY!

So yeah, I'm all smiles and happiness!!!

Bakery here I come! I'll post pictures of me in my tricorn for you all to see!

So I'm at work.

Started yesterday. All I can say is it isn't what I wanted, but I'll take it. I would have prefered being out walking around, even if it was doing kids tours. I hate the fact I sit at a desk all day. This is not condusive to my getting skinny plans!

Hopefully Dad go groceries... my paper bag lunches have not been so great the last 2 days.

The ladies I work with are nice enough. I dunno, I think the office is totally anti-feng shui and it's messing with me.

My job? Well I file things, data entry, phone answering, customer relations, order taking, organizing, bla bla bla.

So yeah, that's all I have to complain about right now. be back to complain more later.

As you may or may not know:

My grandfather has alzheimers. ( Read more... )

Goddamn. I am the Queen of Perpetual Crushes.

It makes me feel like a wad! Why must I get crushes so easily! Well, it's not even that I fall easy... or maybe I do.

Goddamn.

I just want to snuggle!

SO hey everyone, sorry I haven't posted anything really substantial as of late. In my defense; nothing has really been happening. Well actually;

While parking/hanging out with my girlfriend we were stalked. Stalked by DEER! We were just chillin', illin', thrillin' and then as I look out the back window... BAM! A deer! Then BAM! ANOTHER DEER!

Later that night we saw two foxes too!

Saw Herald&Kumar for the 3rd time.

Got a job

Got a Hait cut

Have become completely in love with THE BIG BANG THEORY.

SO I started with wanting to write an indepth post... but I am not totally 100% there.


Since I FAIL at good posts, here's some YouTube fun:

Yesterday was haircut day! Joy. Well, not pure joy, since I mad the smart(and sad) decision to go with one colour and a normal colour at that! All black. Oh the shame! I feel so boring and bland and normal! I hate it. But; when you want to get a job you have to make sacrifices I guess.

I'll have to make up for it in September with extra fun and wild hair.

I'm so disappointed right now; I got all ready to go for a run... and it started to rain. While I was in the basement(my room) digging around trying to find my pants it started to rain! Goddamn. I'm hoping it let's up in the next 30 minutes. If not I'm going out anyway. Must get skinny!

Gwendolyns Fat Camp: Owned and Operated by me.
Goals:

Run everyday.

Diet like a trooper.

Get fucking hot&skinny!

I am presently 123lbs and somewhere around 5'3. I am poofy and I hate it. I do not want to jiggle AT ALL anywhere ever... minus my boobs(not that I have much) and possibly ass. I am setting the goal of 100lbs. It's ridiculous, but it will make me work hard. Last summer I set the goal of 115lbs, I met it and still wasn't happy. So now since I know I can lose 15lbs in 2 months, I'm going to work for 23lbs in 3 months!

I also want to do some CRAZY nonsensical body cleanse just for the hell of it. Suggestions? Recommendations?

I want to be SICK skinny... but just not sick! Is there such a thing as healthy CRACK skinny? I'm doubting it. But hey, I can dream!

Now off to run in the rain. Goddamn.

Oh yeah! My hair:

Better pictures later.

10 Dollar Somethings.
http://www.somethingstore.com/index.html

Rat Kings.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rat_king


wtf farming.

SO, I think my mother has finally proven herself. True colours and all that jazz.

She has finally said something that has allowed me to no longer care if I'm in her life. I no longer feel obligated.

I don't know whether to cry, or be pleased. I'm swinging violently between both.

Oh HAI GUYZ!

I want another facial piercing. I've had my septum for about 2months no and it's doing pretty good. (Also have both nipples!)

So, what do y'all suggest?

( Hey look it's muh face! )
I'm not a fan of nostril piercings(on my own face anyway), I would love to get a monroe, but I've got a freckle that is in the perfect spot and if I were to pierce on the other side I think it would create weird symmetry.

Thanks for the opinions guys. You always rock.

EDIT: SO this was supposed to be posted on a peircing comm... hy it posted itself here... no idea! D: